On Being Invisible

I am invisible
Standing within
Unnoticed not shamed

I am invisible
Unseen, not blind
Unheard, not mute

I am invisible
The stench of my
Breath smothers you

I am invisible
The sweat of my
Back greases your path

I am invisible
My shadow chills the
Room I no longer dwell

I am invisible
Passing through cage
Bars forged by fear

I now invisible
Feel the breeze
Only a body knows.

I am invisible
Clothed by friends
Belief and trust

I am invisible
Sighted audible
Bound no more

Dancing in the Dark

Dancing in the moonlight the young man turned bent low and then spun quickly gracefully athletic. His joyous laughter pierced the still and silence of the night.

Approaching him along the shoreline a tall muscular three pieced suited gentleman, walking briskly, his steps in measured strides, his arms keeping time like a mechanical metronome.


The very proper and correct man broke his pace at the sight of the dancing, prancing silhouette in the moonlight. With hands firmly on hips and his suit jacket bulging at his chest he glared at the dancer. Not until he allowed his sight to adjust to the shadowing twilight did he see that the ritual dance had a purpose.

The dancer was picking up stranded starfish left behind by the receding tide to soon be baked up the rising of the sun. The starfish of many colors littered the beach as far as the eye could see.

Without hiding his contempt the watcher chided condescendingly, “What are you doing? What difference can saving a few starfish possibly make?”

Smiling with the innocence of a child the dancer sang while whirling but one more stranded starfish back into the deep. “It certainly makes a difference to this one!”

How are we as followers of Jesus the Christ to measure success? Are we to calculate by the multitudes, business models, and the lenses of modernity. Can a life spent in only making a difference to one be counted as a success?

Absent from the story are the familiar qualifications of success and measurements of progress. All that mattered was the dance and the “one” of the moment.

My point and purpose is not to attack large successful ministries nor to hold them up for examination but simplt to propose that the importance of the one is close to the heart of God. And those dancing in the dark may not be so out of step.

I have met some wary dancers – perhaps am one myself – who feel abandoned and diminished only due to their dancing the steps that the Spirit of God has put into their hearts. Their crime: caring more for the “one” than the organizational goals.

So, dancers in the dark, keep dancing even if only for the one. Keep dancing for if you slow down and lose the rhythm you may find your unique personality being trimmed to fit someone else’s mass-produced frame.

Post script:

Today I learned that one of the “ones” I hoped to throw to the deep was not thrown far enough and is trapped in the shallows with the heat of the full sun now bearing down.

J, may you find deep water and rest for your soul.

A Memory

I have watched this speech every year for as long as I can remember. Now that we do not have cable I picked it up on youtube.

2B or not 2B

Proving the concept that if enough people do something it will become accepted. High school students in New Zealand won’t be marked off for the abbreviated and phonetic-style grammar popular in text messaging while writing essays for the New Zealand Qualifications Authority.
Condemnations form English purists notwithstanding, the shorthand developed as a shorthand for instant messages. Traditionalists insist that the new standard devalues English as a language.
An example published in the Wellington’s Dominion Post is above in the title. (it’s Shakespeare, of course) Another accepted sentence was “We shal fite dem on d beaches”. (A reference to a famous line from Winston Churchill)

My Daily Goal

"I try to make everybody's day a little more surreal."
-- Calvin of Calvin & Hobbes

I accomplished this today. Frank, who works on the construction job where I am spending my retirement mentioned in passing that it has been decided that I am “whacked”.
If you understand that drugs and alcohol are the path to construction you will understand the enigma of a 52 year old school headmaster stripping forms and tying steel. (Not to mention lifting and carrying 150 cement blocks onto the second floor slab 15 minutes before quitting time – but I digress)

Nevertheless it is a job that pays well and allows me to come and go as I please. (And I get the strangest looks from people who know what I am doing.)

Old Age Is Fierce

Many years ago I heard this from older construction workers when I was just a young buck. Now that I am returning to day labor as a form carpenter at 52 years of age I have come to understand.
After spending the past four weeks in North Carolina (without computer access) I am becoming reaquainted with various blogs and my typical internet information fix.

Anyway, staying with the theme a few thoughts on aging:

Signs that you are getting old:

• Everything hurts and what doesn't hurt, doesn't work.
• In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
• It takes a couple of tries to get over a speed bump.
• It takes longer to rest than it did to get tired.
• It takes twice as long to look half as good.
• No one expects you to run into a burning building.
• People call at 9 p.m. and ask, "Did I wake you?"
• People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
• The clothes you've put away until they come back in style... come back in style.
• The twinkle in your eye is only the reflection of the sun on your bifocals.
• There's nothing left to learn the hard way.
• Things you buy now won't wear out.
• When getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.
• When happy hour is a nap.

“Deju view all over again” - Yogi Berra

Never did I think I would return top construction after 15 years of office work. Nevertheless, this week I was a laborer for Blue Fin Construction. Much has changed in the past 15 years, once we called ourselves “Caveman Construction” due to our use of physical labor rather than modern power equipment. Now there were nail guns and table saws.
Still pulling #5 40 foot iron rods onto a second floor deck hasn’t changed much. Anyway it put a few dollars in the wallet and groceries onto the table.
Leaving in a few days for our house in progress in North Carolina. After a week of work its time for a vacation. HA!

Resign or Retire

According to Websters online dictionary:
RESIGN
Function: verb
1 : RELEGATE; especially : to give (oneself) over without resistance
2 : to give up deliberately; especially : to renounce (as a right or position) by a formal act
intransitive verb
1 : to give up one's office or position : QUIT
2 : to accept something as inevitable : Submit
RETIRE
Function: verb
1 : to withdraw from action or danger : RETREAT
2 : to withdraw especially for privacy
3 : to move back : RECEDE
4 : to withdraw from one's position or occupation : conclude one's working or professional career
5 : to go to bed
transitive verb
1 : WITHDRAW: as a : to march (a military force) away from the enemy b : to withdraw from circulation or from the market : RECALL c : to withdraw from usual use or service
2 : to cause to retire from one's position or occupation
3 a : to put out (a batter or batsman) in baseball or cricket b : to cause (a side) to end a turn at bat in baseball
4 : to win permanent possession of (as a trophy)
5 : to pay in full : SETTLE

I have retired, at least in the mind of everyone I know, rather than having resigned my position, which is what I actually did. What is interesting to me is that it matters to me and I am bothered every time a comment is made regarding my “retirement”.
Perhaps that is due to our conception that retireing is good and acceptable while resigning is not. Nevertheless, according to the definition I have done the following:
1 : given up my office or position : QUIT;
2 : accepted this as inevitable : SUBMITTED
I could accept “retire” however according to the following parts of the definition:
1 : to withdraw from action or danger : RETREAT.
The danger to my family and emotional health has lead to this “change” be it retirement or resignation.
Either way I rejoice in the words of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. (out of context)

“Free at last,
free at last,
thank God Almighty,
I am free at last"

Our House

Our house, is a very, very, very fine house
With two cats in the yard
Life used to be so hard
Now everything is easy 'cause of you

Graham Nash















We just returned from our third trip to establish a new home
in Salisbury, North Carolina.  Since we still have a home in Key Largo
(slow ... er non-existant housing market at present) this may
prove difficult.














I'll light the fire
You place the flowers in the vase
That you bought today
Staring at the fire
For hours and hours
While I listen to you play your love songs
All night long for me
Only for me

Australia is a long way, away

Yesterday my son left for school in Australia.

“Don't worry about the world coming to an end today.
It is already tomorrow in Australia.”
Charles Schultz

What's Missing

If a child is to keep alive his inborn sense of wonder,
he needs the companionship
of at least one adult who can share it,
rediscovering with him the joy, excitement and mystery of the world we live in.
-- Rachel Carson --

After 29 years of employment in Christian education, the last 17 in some level of administration, I am not at school. Those who know me and once worked with me call this new thing: retirement. I find the word awkward and it seems to stick to my tongue but seems more comforting to those who know me, than actually my explaining the reasons which have lead me away from the classroom.
Equally awkward has been answering the question, “How are you doing?” when the questioner is serious and actually desires an answer. This past week I finally had an answer. "I miss the children." I related this to a close friend yesterday, who lived nearly 30 years in the UK. She paid me the following compliment (I think it was complimentary), “You are the most English of anyone I know in the U.S.” I knew she saw through the veiled meaning. I really do miss the children, though.
I also miss the drive in the early morning over the Whale Harbor Bridge. Seeing the colors of the new day over the expanse of the Atlantic invigorated each and every day with a sense of wonder and God’s mercies. I miss the wonder.
The Rabbi Abraham Joshua Herschel on his death bed declared to his closest friend, “Sam, never once in my life did I ask God for success or wisdom or power, or fame. I asked for wonder, and he gave it to me.”
I am missing the wonder of the adventure of each new day and the eyes of the children.

"The world will never starve for want of wonders,
but for want of wonder."
-- Gilbert K. Chesterton --

Coming Attractions

A few evenings ago my wife and I watched an old B/W movie: Mr. Blanding Builds His Dream House. Mr. Blanding (Cary Grant) is an advertising executive living with his family in a to small New York City high-rise apartment.
Through a series of events he and his wife (Myrna Loy) decide to buy an old farm in Connecticut, complete with an old house and barns.
What happens next is the reason we remembered and checked the film out of the local library: Dottie and I are in the process of moving into an old (1940’s) house in North Carolina. The house needs some TLC and hopefully nothing major.
Back to the story of Mr. Blanding, each new day brought more problems and more expense. Hopefully, our experience will not be the same.
BTW this film was remade in 1986 called The Money Pit with Tom Hanks. Guess we need to add this one to our need to watch list.

With son at High School basketball game